Party in Mom and Dad's room!!! Woo-hoo!!!

Jack, my 5 year old brother in-law, can be the sweetest child in the whole world and he can be the most mischievous child in the whole world.  Last night he was a little bit of both.  Last night Jack had a little party in Mom (Kelly) and Dad's (Bill) room.

We made homemade pizza for dinner last night.  Pizza is Jack's all time favorite thing to eat.  In between bites Jack would run back to his parents room to watch snip-its of his dinosaur movie.  When he was all finished I went to get him so he could take his medicine and get ready for bed.  Upon walking into Bill and Kelly's room I noticed a bowl of Bill's sunflower seeds dumped on the floor.  I told Jack to go to the kitchen so Josh could give him his medicine and bring back a bowl so he could help me pick up the seeds.  He ran off right away and I worked tediously in picking up the seed and empty shells.  I noticed a little shred of paper close by and picked it up and put it in the bowl I had for the shells.  Then there was another piece and another, I looked up only to find shredded paper all over Kelly's side of the bed on the floor.  Where in the world did this stuff come from?!?!  Then I saw it, the shredder with it's top off and piles of shredded paper just outside of it.  When Jack came back to the room I told him I would help him pick up the little papers.  We were working pretty quickly when he decided to take hand fulls of the papers and sprinkle them in the bowl which made a bigger mess.  I asked him to do it nicely but he refused.  The way he was doing it was more fun.  I gave him two options; clean it up with me nicely or do it all by yourself.  Those options seemed very reasonable to me and I was fine with which ever he chose.  Little did I know he had his own agenda.  The following dialog is not exact however it is pretty close to what transpired.

"But, I want to pick with the papers this way" said Jack.

"That is fine but that means you are going to pick them up by yourself because I don't want to pick up the papers twice.  When you sprinkle the papers they don't go in the bowl.  Please pick them up nicely" I said.  Jack continued to do it his way and did not respond to me.

"Jack, please pick them up nicely so I will still help you."

"I am going to make a mess all over the room," Jack responded.

"That wasn't one of the options, you can pick the papers up alone or I can help you but only if you pick up the pieces nice."

"I am going to make a mess!"

By this point I started getting frustrated.  "Jack please just pick up the papers nicely with me.  If you make a mess there are going to be consequences."

"I know."

"So you know that if you make a mess you will get in trouble."

"Yes." Jack finished as he picked up the bin that held the rest of the shredded paper (which was a little more than 3/4 full) and started to dump.  The clean up became much more overwhelming and turned into a GAME.

"Fine, do what ever you want." I was so irritated I had to leave.  I needed to re-group and get re-enforcements.  I shouldn't have said "do what ever you want" because that wasn't what I meant.  You know what I mean, sometimes in deep frustration you say things in haste and with out thinking about the precautions.

I went to the kitchen to talk to Josh and ended up counseling with Josh, Grandma Great, and Cowboy Bob.  I just didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to handle it.  What were his consequences supposed to be???  This was my first real glimpse into my future as a parent.  What do you do in a situation like this?  I mean, the punishment should fit the crime and I felt that just picking up with papers was enough.  (What I had to remember was Jack isn't my child and I am not responsible for his punishment.)

Josh went in and try his luck.  During their conversation  Josh got nowhere with Jack.  The boy kept making little piles and throwing them up in the air.  Jack told Josh "I am having a party!!" and "Veronica told me I could do whatever I want."  THAT WASN'T WHAT I MEANT!  But how does a 5 year old know that?!?!  Hence the reason I shouldn't have said it.  There were a million things I could have said but at least I remained cool and didn't yell at him.

Than Grandma Great had a turn followed by Cowboy Bob with no success.  None of us could reason with him.  We had a mini re-group and decided the best thing to do was wait for Bill to come home and deal with it.  In the mean time Jack had his TV and DVD player taken away for the night; because of his behavior that was the consequence he had to endure until Dad got home.  Immediately after the re-group I got up to get Jack ready for bed.  I had him change his clothes and pick out two books to read while I brushed the shredded paper off the bed and blankets.  I got him all snug and cozy and we talked while I finished making the bed suitable to sleep in.

I asked him if he missed Kelly and he said yes.  Then I asked him if Kelly would be happy or sad if she was here and he said sad.  They we talked about moms for a while.  I told him he was lucky to be so close and to live with his mom.  My mom is in California and it is hard for me to just go and see her.  I get to talk on the phone with her but that isn't the same as being together.  He told me that he was sorry for what he did and it was genuine.  I read him two books, we said a little prayer together, and I got him his cup of water.  I told him that he was a very good boy and sometimes the best boys and girls don't always make the best choices.  We also talked about how it is not good when we make bad or not so good choices but that is okay because that is part of Heavenly Father's plan, we get to make choices.  We talked about choices of good or bad choices.  We talked about how if you choose to get baptised you can live with Heavenly Father again but if you choose not to get baptised you don't get to.  We talked about if you eat all your dinner you get to be full and even have dessert but if you don't eat your dinner you don't get dessert and you are hungry all night long.  I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to talk about before going to bed so I answered his questions.  He asked what Satan looked like and how moms and dads take care of babies when they are babies.  I gave him a big hug and Josh came in.  I told him again he was a really good boy and that I love him.  He went right to sleep which in and of itself is a miracle.

This morning Bill said he cleaned up some of the mess before going to bed last night :

Cowboy Bob and Grandma Great worked on it a bit this morning but there is still so much to do.  I am sure there will be some left for Jack to clean up when he gets home from school.

Cheers to parents!!!  They deserve all the support they can get.  This made Josh and I think about what kind of parents we really want to be.  We have some theories but we don't know for sure.  I know when Savannah gets bigger and when more kids come along I will have days where I don't think I can survive and where I will want to rip my hair out but those days are so few compared to the days full of fun, learning, and GOOD TIMES.

P.S. my favorite part all of this was earlier in the afternoon I shredded some bills and had the thought that I should empty the canister.  I didn't do it because I was holding Savannah and I thought I can do it later.  If only I just did it!