When I grow up...

When I grow up there are so many things I want to be.  The choices I make now will make or break who I am and who I become.  I don't know the time frame or if I will become everything on my list but I WILL become most of them.  I am sure I will add and take away some things but no one thing defines me.  I am a melting pot or ideas, adventures, experiences, and so much more.

I want to be known as:

Veronica Ann (Aufdermauer) Cleverly; wife, lover, mother, friend, super hero, photographer, hair stylist, publisher, children's book writer, screen printer, screen writer, sewer, stain glass expert, cake decorator, interior designer, world traveler, optimist, investor (of time, money, and talents), belly dancer, child entertainer, reader, student, creator, capitalist, and much much more.  I just need keep learning about myself and figure out what else I want to be.

 If you know something else I am or that I mentioned I want to be please let me know if I have forgotten and share with me what you want to be.

Daddy's Homecoming

Savannah is very adventurous and at her young age of 9 well...almost 10 months she is a little dare devil.  She really likes to climb up things, through things, over things...the climbing never ends.  For a few weeks she has been climbing on the laundry basket.  (for some cute pictures check out our smugmug site.)  Most recently she has been climbing on the basket and looking out the window.  The other day she did this when Dad (Josh) was coming home from work.  It looks like she is waiting for him.  To honor that we sing the following:

Daddy's Homecoming

I'm so glad when daddy come home, glad as I can be;

Clap my hands and shout for joy, then climb upon his knee,

Put my arms around his neck, hug him tight like this,

Pat his cheeks, then give him what?  A great big kiss.

(kiss!)

{Children's Songbook 1989 IRI}

Savannah loves her Daddy.  When he comes home she reaches for him.  She claps her hands with him (and waves).  She giggles and cuddles and says "ada da ada" to him.  She climbs all over him when he is on the floor or on the bed with her.  She hugs and squeezes him tight when she is sad or scared.    She pats his face, not really his cheeks, mostly his eyes and the top or side of his head.  She has been known to open mouth kiss his cheek on days he has shaved and only after we play our little sucking kiss game (I will have to explain that in person-it sounds really bad here).

Savannah and Josh have a great daddy-daughter relationship.  There's nothin' but love!!!

Party in Mom and Dad's room!!! Woo-hoo!!!

Jack, my 5 year old brother in-law, can be the sweetest child in the whole world and he can be the most mischievous child in the whole world.  Last night he was a little bit of both.  Last night Jack had a little party in Mom (Kelly) and Dad's (Bill) room.

We made homemade pizza for dinner last night.  Pizza is Jack's all time favorite thing to eat.  In between bites Jack would run back to his parents room to watch snip-its of his dinosaur movie.  When he was all finished I went to get him so he could take his medicine and get ready for bed.  Upon walking into Bill and Kelly's room I noticed a bowl of Bill's sunflower seeds dumped on the floor.  I told Jack to go to the kitchen so Josh could give him his medicine and bring back a bowl so he could help me pick up the seeds.  He ran off right away and I worked tediously in picking up the seed and empty shells.  I noticed a little shred of paper close by and picked it up and put it in the bowl I had for the shells.  Then there was another piece and another, I looked up only to find shredded paper all over Kelly's side of the bed on the floor.  Where in the world did this stuff come from?!?!  Then I saw it, the shredder with it's top off and piles of shredded paper just outside of it.  When Jack came back to the room I told him I would help him pick up the little papers.  We were working pretty quickly when he decided to take hand fulls of the papers and sprinkle them in the bowl which made a bigger mess.  I asked him to do it nicely but he refused.  The way he was doing it was more fun.  I gave him two options; clean it up with me nicely or do it all by yourself.  Those options seemed very reasonable to me and I was fine with which ever he chose.  Little did I know he had his own agenda.  The following dialog is not exact however it is pretty close to what transpired.

"But, I want to pick with the papers this way" said Jack.

"That is fine but that means you are going to pick them up by yourself because I don't want to pick up the papers twice.  When you sprinkle the papers they don't go in the bowl.  Please pick them up nicely" I said.  Jack continued to do it his way and did not respond to me.

"Jack, please pick them up nicely so I will still help you."

"I am going to make a mess all over the room," Jack responded.

"That wasn't one of the options, you can pick the papers up alone or I can help you but only if you pick up the pieces nice."

"I am going to make a mess!"

By this point I started getting frustrated.  "Jack please just pick up the papers nicely with me.  If you make a mess there are going to be consequences."

"I know."

"So you know that if you make a mess you will get in trouble."

"Yes." Jack finished as he picked up the bin that held the rest of the shredded paper (which was a little more than 3/4 full) and started to dump.  The clean up became much more overwhelming and turned into a GAME.

"Fine, do what ever you want." I was so irritated I had to leave.  I needed to re-group and get re-enforcements.  I shouldn't have said "do what ever you want" because that wasn't what I meant.  You know what I mean, sometimes in deep frustration you say things in haste and with out thinking about the precautions.

I went to the kitchen to talk to Josh and ended up counseling with Josh, Grandma Great, and Cowboy Bob.  I just didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to handle it.  What were his consequences supposed to be???  This was my first real glimpse into my future as a parent.  What do you do in a situation like this?  I mean, the punishment should fit the crime and I felt that just picking up with papers was enough.  (What I had to remember was Jack isn't my child and I am not responsible for his punishment.)

Josh went in and try his luck.  During their conversation  Josh got nowhere with Jack.  The boy kept making little piles and throwing them up in the air.  Jack told Josh "I am having a party!!" and "Veronica told me I could do whatever I want."  THAT WASN'T WHAT I MEANT!  But how does a 5 year old know that?!?!  Hence the reason I shouldn't have said it.  There were a million things I could have said but at least I remained cool and didn't yell at him.

Than Grandma Great had a turn followed by Cowboy Bob with no success.  None of us could reason with him.  We had a mini re-group and decided the best thing to do was wait for Bill to come home and deal with it.  In the mean time Jack had his TV and DVD player taken away for the night; because of his behavior that was the consequence he had to endure until Dad got home.  Immediately after the re-group I got up to get Jack ready for bed.  I had him change his clothes and pick out two books to read while I brushed the shredded paper off the bed and blankets.  I got him all snug and cozy and we talked while I finished making the bed suitable to sleep in.

I asked him if he missed Kelly and he said yes.  Then I asked him if Kelly would be happy or sad if she was here and he said sad.  They we talked about moms for a while.  I told him he was lucky to be so close and to live with his mom.  My mom is in California and it is hard for me to just go and see her.  I get to talk on the phone with her but that isn't the same as being together.  He told me that he was sorry for what he did and it was genuine.  I read him two books, we said a little prayer together, and I got him his cup of water.  I told him that he was a very good boy and sometimes the best boys and girls don't always make the best choices.  We also talked about how it is not good when we make bad or not so good choices but that is okay because that is part of Heavenly Father's plan, we get to make choices.  We talked about choices of good or bad choices.  We talked about how if you choose to get baptised you can live with Heavenly Father again but if you choose not to get baptised you don't get to.  We talked about if you eat all your dinner you get to be full and even have dessert but if you don't eat your dinner you don't get dessert and you are hungry all night long.  I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to talk about before going to bed so I answered his questions.  He asked what Satan looked like and how moms and dads take care of babies when they are babies.  I gave him a big hug and Josh came in.  I told him again he was a really good boy and that I love him.  He went right to sleep which in and of itself is a miracle.

This morning Bill said he cleaned up some of the mess before going to bed last night :

Cowboy Bob and Grandma Great worked on it a bit this morning but there is still so much to do.  I am sure there will be some left for Jack to clean up when he gets home from school.

Cheers to parents!!!  They deserve all the support they can get.  This made Josh and I think about what kind of parents we really want to be.  We have some theories but we don't know for sure.  I know when Savannah gets bigger and when more kids come along I will have days where I don't think I can survive and where I will want to rip my hair out but those days are so few compared to the days full of fun, learning, and GOOD TIMES.

P.S. my favorite part all of this was earlier in the afternoon I shredded some bills and had the thought that I should empty the canister.  I didn't do it because I was holding Savannah and I thought I can do it later.  If only I just did it!

The new Veronica!!!

Are you ready?!?!  I am!  Here is the new me.  (These shots were taken at the end of the day after my hair was cut.)

front and loving it!

right side

left side

back - darling right?!?!

front, the next day styled myself

back, the next day

I think my hair looks better in person than in these pictures.

I really like my new hair.  It isn't how I imagined but it turned out well.  I don't think my curls are capable of looking like the curls of the girl from the Monta Vista ward.  At church my hair was the topic of discussion; compliments came from everywhere and Josh even accepted a few for me.  I think the cut was a good change.  Josh even said that he thinks I should keep my hair short for a while.  This means upkeep!!!  I don't know if I can do that, I am a very good procrastinator when it comes to my hair.  And how long is a while?????

Today is the day!!!!

The appointment is set, I just need to show up.  As of just after 2:30 MST I will have a brand new hair style.  I am sure it will take people some time to get used to and I bet some people will have to do a double take because they won't recognize me.

How fast can you shovel?

The snow is such a blessing in that it is beautiful to watch fall, look at after the dump is over from your kitchen or living room window, and give us water to drink.  The curses are driving in it, getting stuck in it, accidents in it, going outside to be with it (mostly because of the cold, there are some pretty fun things to do in the snow if you are warm), and shoveling it.  On Sunday (Jan. 6) after church I shoveled the drive and walk ways to the house for the first time.  I found it kind of fun and it only took me 45 minutes.

I did it a second time on Jan. 9 because I thought the first time was a bit lovely.  I gave the baby to Josh, got my snow boots on and head out the door.  This time wasn't so bad either but was less fun and rewarding as the first time.  The snow was heavier and there was a whole lot more of it.  My father-in-law got home and lent a helping hand.  That was fine and dandy until I had to give up my shovel for the smaller "not meant for snow" shovel.  It was fine because he is stronger and can get more snow shoveled quicker.  However, I missed the power of the snow shovel.  Josh came out when it was time for Savannah to eat so we traded places.  Instead of using the shovel I had he went across the street to borrow their snow shovel.  I was out there for 25 minutes.  We already see a pattern here.  The first time was enjoyable and the second a little less but not horrible.

Yesterday it didn't snow but the plowman did a very crappy job on our street.  It was like he just dumped it all in our driveway.  I don't drive in the snow much because we only have one car and I am not about to drag Savannah all over town in the storms or aftermath.  I needed to get baby food last night because I had plenty of fruit but no veggies for the baby today.  I got in our car and proceeded out of the driveway only to get stuck in the aftermath of that darn plow.  For some reason our 4-wheel drive wasn't engaged correctly and only one tire was spinning.  I started to shovel the snow out from around my tires (third shoveling experience) in backless shoes!  I put them on because I was just planning on a quick in and out.  That was my first mistake, no my second.  My first mistake was not gunning it out of the driveway.  I didn't think I was going that slow but I certainly was going fast; I just didn't want to slide into the car across the street.  I rocked the car and did everything I could think about.  Josh and Bill came over to help and they couldn't get the car moved until the neighbor came to help.  It took three men to get me unstuck twice.  That is right twice.  First was getting me unstuck so I could get into the road and be on my way.  The second was getting me from being stuck in the middle of the road back into the driveway.  I was not about to even attempt to go out again and get stuck like that.  So we gave Bill and Kelly the baby monitor and Josh went with me (he drove) in his parents car.  We made it back in one piece.

What have I learned from just three times shoveling snow?  1. I hate getting stuck in the snow  2. I will leave it to the men to do the shoveling this season   3. I will be investing in a snow blower for next season when I have my own driveway to de-snow.

Chopping the luxurious strands

I have wanted to chop my hair off for about five years now.  The closest I got to doing it was when I cut my hair while I was pregnant.  I didn't cut it because I needed a change like many women do, I did it because even before my pregnancy I wanted it cut but procrastinated.  I would talk about it all the time and Josh would encourage me to just do it; so finally I made the appointment.  I have been talking about it again because I need to get a hair cut (my layers are no longer layers).  When I cut it when I was pregnant I didn't do it how I wanted it because I felt I needed Josh's support; don't get me wrong, I loved the cut. Josh loves love loves long hair so the idea of cutting it really short causes a few uneasy feelings. I totally understand those feelings and respect them so I wouldn't do it. Now I have his full support. There are still some uneasy feelings which is to be expected. I have had long hair for many years so making such a drastic change is scary.  We talked for a while about it but in the end we had a happy result. I mean really, if it looks bad it will grow out and then I won't do it again.  If it looks good I will have made my peace with it and then grow it out until I get another short hair itch.  My sister, Dianna, has a pixie cut.  I don't want it that short but pretty close to it.  For the record, I am not cutting my hair super short because of my sista.  Now, I just need to find someone around the Ogden area who is really good.  Kelly (my mother-in-law) goes to a pretty good stylist but I heard that Aunt Lizbeth recently got her hair cut and she said it is the best one she has ever gotten.  Lizbeth keeps her hair very short and stylish while Kelly keeps her hair about shoulder length so I am thinking I will go with Lizbeth's lady.  I just need to get the 411 and make an appointment.  Wish me luck.  I will post pictures once it is finish even if it looks bad.